PTL. Sin of fear slowly getting conquered, piece by piece, trial by trial. I've never in my life done or wanted to do what I got to do today, and I've also never felt that brave. The aftermath was overwhelming, butterflies-in-my-stomach, shuddering-like-it's-the-dead-of-winter kind of nervousness and relief. Courage only God can give.
Afterwards, He told me,
It is not about your reputation, your relationships with others, your life group, your church, your contributions, your work ethic, your intelligence, your creativity, your past, your future, your flaws, your emotions, your pain, your money, your education, or even why you are who you are. Most of these things are important in the process of things. Some of them you do need to work on. But how many times do I have to tell you? You are not reaching out in order to build relationships. You are not contributing for the sake of contributing. These things should be part of the process, not the goal. Instead, you should be doing all these things for my glory, and mine alone.. For if you struggle or collapse in one area, it does no good to yell at me as you have in the past, but it does all the wonders in the world to thank me for the trial, then courageously ask for my help.
