ldb: recipe for disaster

Being single at 23 is like, the worst thing ever. The worst. Especially if your best friend is still 22 and getting married in three months to some weirdo. WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME??

That's what our fight was about, anyway. Laurie asked me to be her maid of honor last week. And I was like, "...What? You mean if you ever get married right?" I was kind of joking but she stared at me and she was like, "Well yes, I am getting married in three months." And I thought she was joking back so I replied, "Wow, you barely know this guy, and you've already planned your wedding date and everything? Does he know?" To which she widened her eyes and said, "What?" To which I responded, "Wait...what?"

Apparently, Oscar already proposed to her maybe two weeks ago. And the first person she called was apparently me, except that I have absolutely no recollection of this. Laurie said it was at around 2 in the afternoon, on a Thursday, which meant that I was at work either changing diapers or making snacks or...something. Sober. Drug-free. Except Laurie didn't believe this and got mad, and I got mad because she's only known Oscar for less than three months and she's not even getting married in a church since Oscar is Taoist. And apparently he wanted to elope that Thursday afternoon but Laurie said no and turned it into an engagement. And Oscar smokes. And he's really, really into nightclubs, if you know what I mean.

The only thing Laurie said to all this was, "What are you, my grandma?" I said no. Then she said, "Well you want to be my maid of honor or what?" I told her I'd have to think about it because I didn't want to be maid of honor if Oscar was involved, and she kicked me out of the apartment.

I felt terrible but had honestly thought Oscar was just a tentative punching bag for all the misery and anger she suffered after her most recent ex-boyfriend ended their relationship, which, by the way, lasted three years through college.

But today, Laurie called me to tell me that she was mistaken and she had apparently called up an old friend from college about the engagement and not me. I was staying at our neighbor's apartment, and she didn't sound embarrassed or apologetic at all about calling the wrong person or kicking me out. All she said was, "Accidentally called Lena instead. You guys sound alike, okay? Now come home," then hung up.

We went shopping and celebrated all evening, and I didn't say another bad thing about Oscar. To be honest, if Laurie really likes him and wants to be with a smoker for the rest of her life, so be it. Staring at the diamond ring on her left hand, I'm actually secretly jealous. What's it like to make that kind of impulsive life decision? What's it like to raise your chin proudly and trust your own crazy ideas in a society where everyone thinks you've brewed up a recipe for disaster? Suddenly I wish I was the one who had scored an Oscar.