I definitely...needed for this to happen today. Brokenness feels so tiring, bittersweet, sad, and disappointing.
The dangers of riding on God's grace? You easily find yourself taking it for granted. You end up asking for more. I am not cautious enough.
There's total relief in finding that although I lost what I wanted, I don't feel any negativity towards Him. Through this experience, He's laid out in front of me these fears and failures I can't stop hiding behind anymore. Grow up, child. You can't rest beneath the shelter of your family's and church's security forever.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
What are you so afraid of?
Why can't you take risks?
Why are you so quick to draw back and escape?
The problem is not in the path I take. It's in the fear that my path will lead to failure. I constantly feel like I set myself up for disappointment. Who becomes an English major when the world is in recession? Who aspires to be a writer when the publishing industry is crumbling under the weight of change? I had forgotten that God chose this path for me, and that His sovereignty always prevails. In my weakening grip, I become, honestly, DEATHLY scared. One tiny shortcoming tips the entire balance scale.
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
What mercy was revealed; what selflessness and peace. My fate was surely sealed, until He rescued me. -Starfield, "The Saving One"
Can I stop living selfishly? Will I please?
