“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” Matthew 18:12-14
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’” Luke 15:4-6
Both my discipler and my life group leader constantly remind me of this parable, and I had such a good conversation with a brother about it last night.. God, please drill it into me! Every time I walk into life group, I have to remember that it's not about what I want out of it. Last year, I was so inconceivably lost. But He knows our hearts more than we do; He gave me everything I needed through my life group and I didn't even know it. I was clueless, yet I got incredibly blessed.
God, this year I've been very careless. I've been so unfaithful. Will you still use me in my life group for what's left of this school year? Not as one of the lost, but to serve those who are.. Teach me how to sacrifice my comfort and expectations and be used to help them grow. Teach me how to give, and how to give freely.
Our God is the kind who leaves the 99 that remain and goes after the one. Let's not just pray for ourselves, but for the lost.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
grow
I was thinking about you, thinking about me. Thinking about us, what we gonna be?
-Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie (Nelly cover)
Why do all my inspirations come from songs? Hahaha. As I was listening to this cover, I thought about the depth of attachment that comes with loving a person, particularly in an intimate relationship. How, when the relationship is over, it feels like the whole world has suddenly decided to move on without you, birds singing and trees dancing with a sunny backdrop outside your window, ignoring you while you're alone in your enclosed, dark, miserable room, weeping to pieces. And nobody cares. And you don't want anybody to care except that one person. Yet one of you refuses to mend the relationship, so that brokenness just covers you and you're too upset to fight back.
Is that how you feel when you are away from God?
Not at all. I feel apathy. Exhaustion. Guilt.
What kind of relationship do I have with God then? The best way to describe it: give-and-take. The interactions I have with Him, they're just like a relationship with a roommate you don't know all too well. These are the issues I have:
1. Compromise
"Can I take a break from reading the Bible today please? I'll do it next week. I'm just too tired."
"Sure. Instead, how about we.."
"Actually can I just take a break from You?"
"All right, I'll wait for your return."
2. Sporadic sharing
"MY LIFE SUCKS. GOD PLEASE HELP ME. DO SOMETHING PLEASE."
"Okay, well can you at least try to.."
"I wish my schedule would just work out! I wish he would just LOOK at me! I wish my friend understood my.."
"Ahhh okay okay, calm down, I'm listening."
3. Confrontation
"God I know I haven't been hanging out with You lately. I'm sorry. I repent for.."
"Wow, great. I forgive you. Can you do this for me?"
"Um, I'm sorry, I think I'll do something else. I like doing that better."
4. Ignorance
"Wow I'm learning so much right now! I'm so blessed! With You, I can do anything!"
"Hahaha, yeah."
"I know with Your strength, I'll be able to overcome any obstacles! Let them come. Except don't let Your challenges interfere with this, this, and this, okay?"
"Actually, I wish you could give that up for Me."
"No, that will take away from my joy. Never mind, forget I asked!"
5. Debt
"You've been so good to me. I've been a jerk."
"Yes, I know."
"I owe you. Let me make it up to you by going to church more often."
"Um..."
6. Intimacy?
"Do You think we're close?"
"Well, do you love Me?"
"I think so. Sure!"
If this give-and-take relationship continues, how will I ever know God's heart? What are we going to be? The song says, when you don't give away all your love, you lose everything. And P. Seth once explained, love is not just emotional attachment but commitment. Love is not just a feeling but something that pushes you to become better, more compassionate, for someone else. And only by the power of the gospel will I ever learn to foster that kind of love, to take up my cross and lay down my life, everyday.
I wish I could be that willing, that thirsty for God. I want to live for Him that way.
-Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie (Nelly cover)
Why do all my inspirations come from songs? Hahaha. As I was listening to this cover, I thought about the depth of attachment that comes with loving a person, particularly in an intimate relationship. How, when the relationship is over, it feels like the whole world has suddenly decided to move on without you, birds singing and trees dancing with a sunny backdrop outside your window, ignoring you while you're alone in your enclosed, dark, miserable room, weeping to pieces. And nobody cares. And you don't want anybody to care except that one person. Yet one of you refuses to mend the relationship, so that brokenness just covers you and you're too upset to fight back.
Is that how you feel when you are away from God?
Not at all. I feel apathy. Exhaustion. Guilt.
What kind of relationship do I have with God then? The best way to describe it: give-and-take. The interactions I have with Him, they're just like a relationship with a roommate you don't know all too well. These are the issues I have:
1. Compromise
"Can I take a break from reading the Bible today please? I'll do it next week. I'm just too tired."
"Sure. Instead, how about we.."
"Actually can I just take a break from You?"
"All right, I'll wait for your return."
2. Sporadic sharing
"MY LIFE SUCKS. GOD PLEASE HELP ME. DO SOMETHING PLEASE."
"Okay, well can you at least try to.."
"I wish my schedule would just work out! I wish he would just LOOK at me! I wish my friend understood my.."
"Ahhh okay okay, calm down, I'm listening."
3. Confrontation
"God I know I haven't been hanging out with You lately. I'm sorry. I repent for.."
"Wow, great. I forgive you. Can you do this for me?"
"Um, I'm sorry, I think I'll do something else. I like doing that better."
4. Ignorance
"Wow I'm learning so much right now! I'm so blessed! With You, I can do anything!"
"Hahaha, yeah."
"I know with Your strength, I'll be able to overcome any obstacles! Let them come. Except don't let Your challenges interfere with this, this, and this, okay?"
"Actually, I wish you could give that up for Me."
"No, that will take away from my joy. Never mind, forget I asked!"
5. Debt
"You've been so good to me. I've been a jerk."
"Yes, I know."
"I owe you. Let me make it up to you by going to church more often."
"Um..."
6. Intimacy?
"Do You think we're close?"
"Well, do you love Me?"
"I think so. Sure!"
If this give-and-take relationship continues, how will I ever know God's heart? What are we going to be? The song says, when you don't give away all your love, you lose everything. And P. Seth once explained, love is not just emotional attachment but commitment. Love is not just a feeling but something that pushes you to become better, more compassionate, for someone else. And only by the power of the gospel will I ever learn to foster that kind of love, to take up my cross and lay down my life, everyday.
I wish I could be that willing, that thirsty for God. I want to live for Him that way.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
survey: change
“How important is God in your life? Please use this scale to indicate. 10 means “very important” and 1 means “not at all important.”
Source: World Values Surveys and European Values Study, 1981‐2007.
"However, there has been an increase in the percentage of people who 'often' think about the meaning and purpose of life."
I see a pattern. Do you?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
redemption
but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin."
John 8:1-11
Dang. Awesome message right there.
Can you imagine these teachers and Pharisees, all haughty-like, dragging a poor woman through the crowd and presenting her to Jesus, trying to both shame her and discredit Him at the same time? How sinless and proud those men must have felt? How mortified the woman must have been? And Jesus staring at them and then casually bending down to write on the ground, with all temptation to just roll His eyes and reply, "Are you kidding me..."
Then neither do I condemn you, He says. The only one without sin. The turning point.
At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin."
John 8:1-11
Dang. Awesome message right there.
Can you imagine these teachers and Pharisees, all haughty-like, dragging a poor woman through the crowd and presenting her to Jesus, trying to both shame her and discredit Him at the same time? How sinless and proud those men must have felt? How mortified the woman must have been? And Jesus staring at them and then casually bending down to write on the ground, with all temptation to just roll His eyes and reply, "Are you kidding me..."
Then neither do I condemn you, He says. The only one without sin. The turning point.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
melting pot
Can I apologize if I've been rude to you lately? Will you forgive me so I can see your smile again?
I looked through my livejournal blog from last year, which details raw emotions fluctuating stronger than a y=10sin(10x) graph. I went to beginning of November, 2009, and was so amazed by how much I resisted God's outreaching hand, relying solely on emotions and past experiences as if there were only one way of letting Him take me in.
November 9, 2009
What kind of experience or feeling is that, of being saved? I don't think I have been saved yet because there isn't one particular moment or day that strikes me as when You truly took me by the hand and mended my wounds when I was at my lowest, not that I really had terrible traumas since knowing You...yet (never I hope).
Yesterday I talked to Pastor Seth, and he pointed out to me the narrow path I was walking on and told me about perspectives. God wants to help solve my problems. We have the same solutions in mind but for me, there are only few ways to get there from the lessons of my broken past and out of what I know. For Him, there are a billion, infinite ways to get there... out of what He knows. I only know how to serve Him through my experiences, through what I learned from my freshman year. But now He's showing me other ways to love and other ways to serve, routes I never imagined would lead to giving Him glory but do, all the same. I was shocked, the limitlessness of God once something completely non-comprehensible but now being shown in a sliver through His work in our lives. Isn't this amazing?
1 Peter 4:10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.
I'm sorry for being frustrated with you, for not taking into consideration that you're trying your best to serve God too, just in a completely different way than I know. So let us all try to teach each other the best of what we know, through which we will know God's heart all the more :).
I looked through my livejournal blog from last year, which details raw emotions fluctuating stronger than a y=10sin(10x) graph. I went to beginning of November, 2009, and was so amazed by how much I resisted God's outreaching hand, relying solely on emotions and past experiences as if there were only one way of letting Him take me in.
November 9, 2009
What kind of experience or feeling is that, of being saved? I don't think I have been saved yet because there isn't one particular moment or day that strikes me as when You truly took me by the hand and mended my wounds when I was at my lowest, not that I really had terrible traumas since knowing You...yet (never I hope).
Yesterday I talked to Pastor Seth, and he pointed out to me the narrow path I was walking on and told me about perspectives. God wants to help solve my problems. We have the same solutions in mind but for me, there are only few ways to get there from the lessons of my broken past and out of what I know. For Him, there are a billion, infinite ways to get there... out of what He knows. I only know how to serve Him through my experiences, through what I learned from my freshman year. But now He's showing me other ways to love and other ways to serve, routes I never imagined would lead to giving Him glory but do, all the same. I was shocked, the limitlessness of God once something completely non-comprehensible but now being shown in a sliver through His work in our lives. Isn't this amazing?
1 Peter 4:10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.
I'm sorry for being frustrated with you, for not taking into consideration that you're trying your best to serve God too, just in a completely different way than I know. So let us all try to teach each other the best of what we know, through which we will know God's heart all the more :).
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